HERX is a Four Letter Word


lologoBy Kim Sampson – September 28, 2009

As many of you know, since being diagnosed with Stage Three Neurological Lyme, I have had many physical manifestations from the disease.  One of the most obvious is my tremor.  I have a Parkinsonism shake.  I have had it, off and on, for two years.

To me, it is embarrassing, as people tend to judge when they see it.  How do I know this?  Well, these people tend to talk louder and slower to me, like I am old and deaf.  It really is an interesting phenomenon.  hahaha  In my own experience, people have asked if I am having a diabetic reaction, if I drank too much coffee, if I am really nervous, or if I am really cold.  I think some have thought I was strung out on drugs, especially when they see this PICC line hanging out of me.

I just shake.  It comes and goes when it wants, I do see it gets worse when my body is exposed to over stimulation….loud noise, lots of movement, or big crowds.  Going to church has been very difficult for me in the past year.  I love to go, but it is so taxing on my body, it is just easier to stay away.

Last night, a friend of mine asked me to go to church with her.  So, I did.

I love my church, it is so open and real.  This is a place where brokenness is expected, because they understand we are all human.  We all sin and fall short of the grace of God.  So, there are ex-prisoners, addicts, homosexuals, the sexually abused, divorced, and those who would lie to their boss to get a day off, along with happy families of five, college students and senior citizens.  In my church you will see people in t-shirts, khaki shorts and Keene sandals with a cup of coffee.  No one “dresses up” for church, it is really, come as you are.  There are Republicans and Democrats, black, white, Asian, quite a cross section of people.   You will also see people in wheelchairs, walkers and canes, their brokenness is apparent to the eye.  While people who have been sexually abused, abandoned and rejected, can hide their brokenness a bit more, but it is still there.  We are encouraged not to “play church”, by being real.  We are not to come and pretend our families are perfect and that we are perfect…no one but God is perfect.  But, in all of this, God can heal.

He even has us go through trials for seasons of our lives so that we may be able to turn around and help another.  It is when we have gone through something ourselves that gives us credence to another, because they saw us walk through it ourselves, and can relate to their pain and suffering.  This is called a wounded healer.  I believe God is preparing me to become a “wounded healer” for the Lyme community.  Is this something I could have seen myself in high school picking as a vocation?  No, not in a million years.  In fact, there are times I still think, I am no body…I can’t help anyone, then I feel that tugging from God, that yes, this is the path I have been put on.  Or, I will receive an email from someone so sick and needing a doctor, and I help them find that, so they can heal.  Others just need to know they are not alone and that someone is out there fighting just as hard.  So, Lyme Online is here for just that reason.

So, back to church last night…aside from the great teaching about wounded healers, the pastor asked that people come up for prayer for healing.  Now, many of you may not believe in this, I myself have been skeptical of this.  I have, however, seen healing with my own eyes…literally.

So, while people were getting prayer, I just sat in my chair listening to the great music…shaking.  Then, all of a sudden, I felt my pastor put his hands on head, and he began praying.  It wasn’t just a quick prayer, it lasted what felt like ten minutes.  And sure enough, I stopped shaking.  I felt God tell me, “Be still and know I am God”, from Psalm.  It was like, I calmed the tremor for you, I am healing you, the healing is not complete, but when you feel the shaking,  just remind yourself.  “Be still and know I am God.”  I sat there….STILL!  NO SHAKING!  It was so relaxing.  My pastor continued to pray.  I had also been having difficulty with my eyes the past few days and my left eye would not focus…it was blurred.  So, as he prayed, I just said, “I’m taking more of this healing stuff in!”  I kept trying the eye, and it wouldn’t focus.  I was thinking, just be happy your aren’t shaking.  Then, I felt God say, just touch your eye and it will be healed.  So, I did.  I blinked a few times, and there it was….clarity.  And, my eyes are still clear vision!  Yea!!  I did wake up to shaking this morning, but I remembered, “Be still and know I am God”, and even though I was experiencing a mild tremor, I knew God was in control…and is in control.  You can’t put God in a box, as I tend to do all too often.  I know He has put me here so that I may be able to reach out with compassion to others who are very ill, and help them.

I am sure there are those of you reading this that think this is all a hoax, or some sort of brain washing..  Believe me, I am a very practical person when it comes to these things, I won’t believe it unless I see it for myself, so understand you skepticism.  I will not fake my way through anything…what happened was real.  It can be for you, too.  I want to encourage you to “Be still”.

I am going to continue writing my book, “HERX is a Four Letter Word”, as I have already have people who I don’t even know who have told me they want to buy it.  Wow!?  OK!?  I guess I am accepting that my new calling is that of a wounded healer.  Now, let’s all heal.  =)

With you all!  //Kim

“Be still and know I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” -Psalm 46:10

lologo2-150x135Hi All!

I just wanted to tell all of you, I am about 1/3 of the way done with writing my book.  I have been working on it since last spring.  I designed the book cover this last week and it now has a working title:  “HERX is a Four Letter Word”.  It is going to be my memoir, with seriousness and lots of humor!  =)  I have a whole section about “Horton Hears a Who” & Lyme Disease.  It is funny, but will make you think.  I hope the throw some inspirational elements in there as well, and also, a section to tell friends and family what they can do to help the Lyme Patient.  It is not just for Lyme patients, anyone with chronic illness can relate.

I hope to be done with it this next spring.  I will give you updates here on my blog and let you all know when it will be available.

I want to try to get the radio show going again, but I really need to get healthier at this point.  In the meantime, I will be adding more to the Lyme Online Blog and working on this fun but informational book.

With you all!

//Kim

“Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress; he sent out his word and healed them, and delivered them from destruction. Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love,  for his wonderful works to humankind.”  -Psalm 107:19-21